As the Lyme bacteria died and flooded my system I felt increasingly worse. As I mentioned in one of my earlier Lyme blog posts, Herxheimer Reaction (Lyme die-off) can be fatal. There were days when I felt like I was the one dying, not the bacteria. On other days I wished I would die because I felt so shitty.
Mornings were the worst, getting out of bed was a huge effort, but I got up anyway. Even if I felt like crap warmed up, I could at least say I was vertical. My motto is: “One step ahead of my buddy Riga – Rigor Mortis”. One step ahead, is all I need to be so he can’t reach out and grab my shoulder!
I have also always opted for energy work and natural remedies over traditional medicine and in the case of Lyme; natural remedies in conjunction with antibiotics were very effective for me. It is important to note that the recommended dose of antibiotics alone is not enough to destroy Lyme. In this post I will share with you some of the things I did in terms of energy work and positive attitude to heal the Lyme disease.
Attitude is everything and fear is not my friend. As an energy healer, I knew better than to let fear consume me. I had already healed two other illnesses and come through with flying colors. I did that because I sat fear down and told it, “Look Fear, thank you for your help getting a diagnosis, but now you are no longer needed, I am focusing on healing now. So, you need to go. Thank you!” I then visualized fear leaving and locking the door behind it.
I didn’t do that with Lyme. Why, I don’t really know. It could have been because I was consumed by pain, insomnia, and the unpredictable strange and overwhelming symptomology of Chronic Lyme. What I do know is that the more I let fear consume me, the more I focused on the symptoms, and the worse I felt.
It finally dawned on me that I was expecting the worst. Once I had that realization I immediately began focusing on what I could do rather than what I couldn’t. To boost my confidence and sense of accomplishment I did something every day. It might have been something miniscule like read the mail, or something huge like wash and dry my hair – I know that that may sound simple to most folks, but when you feel lousy any small task feels insurmountable.
For the first few months, I fell into the trap of identifying as a Lyme patient. I told people I had Lyme. I knew from healing uterine fibroids and a breast lump to never own a disease. But, fear took hold of me and I started owning Lyme disease. When I met someone new, or saw and old friend, I thought sharing with them what was happening to me would help ease their minds as to why I was not 100%. I started saying, “I have Lyme, or I have been diagnosed with Lyme.” What the heck was I doing? I knew better, but I did it anyway. That’s part of being human. Once I came to and realized what I was doing was hurting me, rather than helping me, I stopped!
Soon after receiving the diagnosis, I took a journey inside my body I talked with the Lyme. I told it, “You are not welcome here and I command that you now leave my body.” I then I visualized the spirochetes jumping ship – seeing them come to the surface of my skin and jump off and go deep into Mother Earth for transmutation.
From the start I believed that once the Lyme was gone, the other diseases I had been diagnosed with over the years would collapse and fade into oblivion. I believe that those symptoms were really Lyme related and not truly the disease I was diagnosed with. As of this writing, the Hashimoto’s Thyroid Disease, adrenal fatigue and hormonal imbalance symptoms have all remarkably diminished; my doctor has reduced the dosages of my thyroid and bio-identical hormones. All signs that my body is on the road to complete recovery.
Throughout the healing process I talked to the disease. I believe that every experience and person in our life is our teacher and I wanted to know what Lyme was teaching me.
In meditation I asked the disease, “What lessons and gifts do you have for me?” The answer was surprising. Lyme responded, “I afford you the opportunity to increase your compassion quota exponentially.” Before I personally experienced chronic pain and the bizarre symptoms related to Lyme disease, I had no personal understanding of what folks who live with chronic illnesses deal with. I now have utmost compassion for them. I know what it’s like to feel lousy, yet look great. I know what it’s like to have every joint in my body ache and burn. I know what it’s like to not have the energy to get out of bed and as much as staying in bed forever sounds good, it is not an option. I know what it’s like to wish it were over, to nearly give up, but to go on anyway. I know now how much strength I have, not giving up or giving in to a disease and the fear that it might take me out.
I also asked the Lyme, “What other benefit do you bring me besides increasing my compassion quota?” Lyme answered, “I help you to appreciate life and living. I help you to move forward on your goals in ways you never have before. You say you want to be a writer, to finish your book(s), but you haven’t yet. Why not? Keep writing! Don’t die with your books inside you!”
About six and half months into treatment, tired of feeling mediocre I got mad, really mad. Standing in my kitchen, I shouted out loud, “Look body, here’s two options, either die, or get well. Period.” I interpreted waking up the next day to mean that my body was telling me I was healing. Had I died, I wouldn’t be writing this! Haha. Since I talked to my body that day, I have felt progressively better.
I am a Shamanic practitioner, Reiki Master and Energy Medicine practitioner and used all the tools in my toolbox daily. In addition to talking with the Lyme, I wrote and recited affirmations, and did healing journey work. I cleared my chakras daily in the shower, and practiced my energy exercises. I journaled my experience with Lyme, which helped me gain further insights and allowed my worries and doubts to leave my head and rest for a while on the page.
Every night before I went to sleep I focused on my “Healed State” I saw, felt and knew that I am not this body or Lyme disease. I tapped into God and the healing powers of the Universe and visualized golden white light healing energy flowing into every cell, atom and molecule of my physical, mental, and emotional body. As I fell asleep, I felt the energy, the feeling of perfect health, the vibration of wellness and wholeness, I fell asleep in the “Healed State” consciousness.
Even though I possess a wide array of holistic skills and knowledge and do work on myself, over the years I have found that it’s often necessary and helpful to reach out and have someone else work on me. This affords me the opportunity to relax and receive, it gets me out of my head, out of my fears, and out of my own way, allowing me to suspend any preconceived notions of what I might need.
While healing Lyme I had several fantastic sessions with a Medical Qigong practitioner. After my first session I felt so much lighter and had tons of energy for several days following the session.
A word about massage. I love it, having a monthly massage has been part of my regular wellness routine since the late 1980’s! As you may recall I was diagnosed in October, 2015. The last massage I had was in early December, 2015, six weeks into treatment. After that, as much as I tried to schedule with my favorite massage therapist, three appointments were cancelled. Twice it was the weather, another time the massage therapist had to cancel for personal reasons. Looking back on it appears the universe was watching out for me. During treatment for Chronic Lyme I had significant die-off and several Herxheimer Reactions. It wasn’t until June, a full six months since my last massage, that I had my first deep tissue massage. For a few days afterwards I had detox symptoms including headaches, joint pain and overall malaise. Apparently the little bastards – Lyme bacteria carcasses – are still in my tissues. They’re not paying rent and need to be evicted!! I am confident that by being more active, drinking more water and doing my usual detox routine this too will lessen as time goes by.
I admit that for the first time in my life I was truly afraid that this time I might not be able to heal the disease like I had other times. I was afraid Lyme would take me out, or worse that I would become handicapped and linger.
It’s now July, nine months since my diagnosis with Chronic Lyme disease. Thankfully, I am healthier now than I have been in years! Of course, I will keep up the healthy diet (I talked about that in another blog) and all the other lifestyle changes I have added since my Lyme experience.
If you know someone who can benefit from this blog series, please share it with them. Feel free to email me directly with any questions you may have.
P.S. One last tidbit of information. As a Shamanic practitioner I am aware that I receive messages all the time. Ticks are the most common carriers of Lyme disease so I looked up ‘tick animal totem” and found this: “If the tick has been showing up in your life as an animal totem, this might be a sign that someone or something might be sucking the very life out of you, or in other words, draining your energy.” This totally rang true for me, especially around the time my doctor thought I was first infected with Lyme. Lyme, forced me to establish and keep healthy boundaries, yet another gift of this tricky and often debilitating disease.
To read my other posts in this series click on these links: